2 articles on The Kids Are All Right, our voices can be heard and should be

You will find two posts on the newly released film The Kids Are All Right.  For those of you with children in your lives this may effect you in one way and for those that have been fighting for equality this may be seen as another stepping stone.  After I had created my first posting GLAAD posted another article regarding a negative review of the film that took 'offensive' a bit beyond the film.  There is an opportunity for your voice to be heard and I hope you will read the contents of both articles.  Ms T.

Make our voices heard to The 'New York Post' offensive critique of The Kids Are All Right

As a follow up to my previous post on the newly released moving The Kids Are All Right, GLAAD has posted an important article regarding New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser's biased and nasty review of The Kids Are All Right.  Using terms as 'gay agenda' and asking movie goers to 'choose their lifestyles wisely' Andrea Peyser is offensive and seems to have an anti - gay bias with her film review.

We have the opportunity to write to the New York Post and to Andrea Peyser.  All information is contained in the article I have posted in it's entirety.  I thank GLAAD for their great coverage and for this post.  Ms T.

This week New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser wrote a highly offensive critique of the newly released movie, The Kids Are All Right, a movie starring Annette Bening, Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo.

As we told you in a previous blog, in the film, by out filmmaker Lisa Cholodenko, Bening and Moore play a longtime couple who began a family through donor insemination, with each mother bearing a child. As teenagers, the couple’s children decide to track down their donor (Ruffalo) without telling their mothers. The film deals with how the family copes once the donor enters their lives.

The Kids Are All Right has received rave reviews from well-established newspapers like the  New York Times and the Los Angeles Times. While it is nearly impossible to create a film that pleases every critic, NY Post writer Andrea Peyser expressed her dislike for the film while simultaneously disparaging gay and lesbian families. It’s clear that Peyser’s objection to the film goes far beyond fair criticism and reflects her own personal anti-gay bias.

Peyser is certainly entitled to her opinion but her cheap shots at gay families were over the top and unacceptable.  Here’s an extended excerpt from the column, illustrating the offensive tone. Peyser describes 'The Kids Are All Right as:

sort of a cross between 'Leave it to Beaver' and 'Kittens With Whips.' Choose your lifestyle wisely, moviegoers. For this film is set to go down in history as the first major motion picture to make a family led by gay women — A-lister Annette Bening, as the control-freak doctor Nic, 'wed' to A-lister Julianne Moore, as the weepy, infantilized Jules — seem not just normal, but close to godly.

It reaches further than the gay-cowboy romp 'Brokeback Mountain,' whose characters maintained a sense of otherness while shielding the kids from their shenanigans. In this movie, exposing kids is the entire point.

And this is how Hollywood does an end run around morality.

'Hollywood has set the stage for the gay agenda, nothing new,' said Laura Bailey, Brooklyn mom of two boys. 'Why do you think they did propaganda films in the 1940s? They’re setting the new norm.'
 
'The movie industry is doing its best to undermine the American family, said Patricia Whitehead, Connecticut mom of two girls. 'Hollywood — we don’t care about the sick lives you lead behind closed doors. Just don’t bring children into it.'

This brazen attempt at trend-setting comes as national polls show Americans oppose gay marriage, half of us strongly. Support for it was at 47 percent in this year’s Washington Post/ABC News poll — but fully two-thirds favored civil unions, in which gay couples enjoy most rights of marrieds without having to stand under the chuppah.

It doesn’t take a genius to glean the truth: Folks are happy with gays living together. But bringing children into the equation is a deal-breaker.
The column fails to include any gay parents, any adults who were raised by gay parents or anyone supportive of LGBT people. It also leaves out a very important fact: Nearly every credible authority on child health and social services (including the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Child Welfare League of America) has determined that a parent’s sexual orientation has nothing to do with the ability to be a good parent.

Peyser also uses the offensive term 'lifestyle' to describe gay and lesbian lives, and concludes her piece with yet another viewpoint against gay parents:

I went to see it in Chelsea, where the crowd was generally smitten. But therapist Karen Kopitz saw through the gay proselytizing.

'I’m not anti-gay,' she said. 'But I don’t think you can compensate for the male-female role model.'
Please write to Andrea Peyser and the New York Post and voice your concerns about this offensive column.  Tell them to stop using this media platform to denigrate loving gay families.

Contact:  letters@nypost.com

We also urge journalists covering this film to consult GLAAD’s resource guide on The Kids Are All Right. The guide is intended as a tool for journalists and bloggers who want to learn more about the topics covered in the movie and includes talking points on donor insemination, how to discuss gay families and information on real life stories. To view the guide, please visit: http://www.glaad.org/kidsareallright

The Kids Are All Right came with a resouce guide but my kid did not

On July 12th, GLAAD issued a resource guide for the new film The Kids Are All Right.  I admit I feel a bit of a personal pull with this film's topic having lived some parts of this story in my own life.  I do watch these type of Hollywood flicks to see how they turn out, if they insist on the crappy Hollywood endings we have all become so nauseatingly accustomed to seeing or if they take the bold smart right risk and actually dare to represent our lives fairly and perhaps with compassion.

In my own life I knew that I had wanted to give birth to a child if possible but in the 19 dark hundred 70's when I came out it was not politically very correct to want to have a child in some politically queer circles.  One was thought of having some subversive straight gene and if you looked like I did then you were definitely suspect (femme).  I still held the desire close to my heart but did not believe it would come to fruition.

In the very early 80's I was at the home birth of a dear friend who was indeed a trail blazer by having a child and raising her mainly as a single parent with great determination.  She even fostered children when her daughter was a bit older as an out lesbian foster mother.  It did show me that it was possible and also was an example of how much work parenting was.

Many of us know both of them as they are still in our community today but visiting a far away land (Hi M & L).  It was fabulous to see the grown up baby come to my birthday party at the Timberline in 2004 as an adult woman - oh my god, that is enough to make one feel their age.  She has turned out to be a beautiful young woman with her mothers' love of travel very much a part of her.  The apple and the tree is a true story there.

By the early 90's I was in a stable relationship and felt very blessed that my partner wanted to have a child too.  It was not like it is today where there are tons of queer folk having children, we were still the exception.  There were not resources readily available regarding donor insemination, what the options were, how to make the best choice for your own situation or how to live with it after wards so I started a group for lesbians that wanted to have children.

Several of us in the group became pregnant and were grateful that we had each other to sort through what felt was the 'right way' for our lives.  We each utilized different choices in donor options.  It was still not the most conventional or popular thing to do - you had to search a bit to find others like you, so much of my support once I became pregnant started to become from straight counterparts pregnant and having children.  This was not too unusual I soon found out by talking with other gay families I met.


In a few short years things started to change dramatically.  Many more queer people started having children by birth or adopting.  Now there are tons of groups and support available if you are queer and want to be a parent.  We made the decision for our family that worked for us and have a known donor who our daughter knows as her dad.  She is grateful that she has this relationship with him and I feel that we made the right decision for our family.  I believe strongly that every situation is different and people have to do what they believe will work for them.

My life has been enriched by my relationship with my daughter and I feel so fortunate that I was able to have a child.  She has brought joy to my life and also to the other adults that round out her family.  A couple years ago I overheard her saying 'After I get permission from the 'lesbian brady bunch' I will call you back'.  Unbeknown to me that is how she referred to her family AND she had nicknamed each of us, her biggest fans and bleacher warmers.  I will spare you the nicknames.

As I was writing I reflected on truly how far things have come in a relatively short period of time.  I certainly do believe in continuing to strive and push until we are treated 100% equally.  Sometimes it is easy to think of how far we have to go to gain total equality but when I look at my daughter it tells me how truly far we have come.  Ms T.

Today, GLAAD released a resource guide for the new film The Kids Are All Right, starring Annette Bening, Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo. The guide is intended as a tool for journalists and bloggers who want to learn more about the topics covered in the film and includes talking points on donor insemination, how to discuss alternative families and information on real life stories. To view the guide, please visit: http://www.glaad.org/kidsareallright

In the film by out filmmaker Lisa Cholodenko, Bening and Moore play a longtime couple who began a family through donor insemination, each mother bearing a child. As teenagers, the couple’s children decide to track down their donor (Ruffalo) without telling their mothers. The film deals with how the family copes once the donor enters their lives.

“What’s so interesting about this movie is that it really highlights how important a family is. What a long-term relationship is,” said Moore in an interview with AfterEllen.com. “What it means to stick it out with somebody; to forgive people’s mistakes; to punish people within your family; to guide them toward growing up and leaving after you’ve been so attached — all of these things. The film is a really interesting exploration of that.”

According to Deadline.com, The Kids Are All Right opened on seven screens this past Friday and scored the highest per screen gross this year so far with $72,127 per screen. If its box office performance is any indication, The Kids Are All Right underscores the desire among American audiences to see lesbian stories reflected on screen. The film will be expanding into 11 new markets this week. For more information, please visit the film’s official website.

Thanks to GLAAD for this article.