As I begin to post in this blog I feel a back up of things I need to say due to the amount of time the GayZette has been down. Do I first tell you about our fabulous motorcycle trip to Sturgis, the sadness of the passing of Mudd on the last day of our vacation or the great blackberry crisp recipe I created after her memorial with big fat blackberries that I owe the hostess with the mostess that let me pick the berries and that I will make a piping hot pan full with? No, none of it feels as pressing as the issues facing our voting population with the needs for votes of YES on Referendum 71. I know that we can get a false sense of security by having our medical directive paperwork in order or by living in a state of denial or a State where we think things are better than in other places.
I came across a story that is a good reminder why we need equality under the law everywhere we go. In February 2007, Olympia, WA residents Janice Langbehn and her partner of 18 years Lisa Pond and three of their adopted children set out on a family vacation via Florida. They were boarding a R Family Vacation cruise (Rosie & Kelli O'Donnell gig) for gay families when Lisa became suddenly ill and was rushed to the nearest hospital. Janice and the children arrived to the hospital just before Lisa and once at the hospital the problems began. Janice was not allowed in the trauma area and was in fact told by a social worker that she had to produce a “Health Care Proxy” in order to prove her status as they were in an "anti-gay state".
Janice called a friend to have the paperwork faxed and sat down for the grueling wait-- watching as other family members were allowed to visit their loved ones. This must have been a sting as Janice worked as a social worker herself for years.
Within 20 minutes I had contacted close friends in Olympia, WA who raced to our house, found all our legal documents including our Durable Power of Attorney, Living Wills and Advance Directives and fax[ed] them to the hospital.
Janice realized she was being kept from her partner, the woman with whom she had fostered 22 children together with and adopted 4. It was obvious she was being denied access to her just because they were gay! She was kept hours without information until finally a surgeon appeared with the worst news possible. Lisa had suffered a brain aneurysm and had massive bleeding as a result. They needed consent to place a pressure monitor in her brain. This information shed light on the fact that the hospital had indeed received the paperwork indicating she was a legal decision maker but had
still left her in the waiting room. A short while later she was told Lisa would not survive and if she did, it would be in a persistent vegetative state.
With the priest, I recited the ritual of the Last Rites and prayed for Lisa and held her hand for the first time since she arrived at Ryder Trauma Center. Following my few minutes with Lisa, the priest ushered me out to the waiting room again. After finally seeing Lisa, I knew our children and I needed to be with her and I asked over and over if we could go back again and was repeatedly told by hospital staff, “No”. In those five hours, Lisa lay at Ryder Trauma Center moving toward brain death and yet no one was there to hold her hand and talk to her and tell her how much she was loved. Jackson Memorial Hospital, in their inability or unwillingness to recognize us as a family with legally adopted children, forced Lisa to be alone in her last moments of life. I used every tactic I could think of to be with her, to bring our children to her yet five hours after they stopped life-saving measures we still sat in that small waiting room. I showed hospital staff our children’s birth certificates with Lisa’s name on them and was told they were “too young to visit”. I thought to myself “how old do you need to be to say goodbye to your mother”? In those hours of waiting and trying to calm our children, explaining to them that their “other” mom was dying and would go to Heaven, I felt like a failure. It wasn’t until Lisa was officially declared brain dead on Monday February 19, 2007 at 10:45am and individuals from the Organ Donation Agency became involved did I finally feel validated as a spouse and partner. They talked directly with me and allowed me to choose which organs would be donated and allowed me to sign all the consent forms.
It makes me sick to think that the only control one would have is over the organs of their loved one! Unfortunately, this story does NOT get better. Janet filed a
lawsuit with the help of Lambda Legal against the hospital and on 9/30/09, the United States District Court for the Southern District of Florida threw out the lawsuit saying the hospital had no obligation to allow visitors into their trauma center. They added “we have always believed and known that the staff at Jackson treats everyone equally.” With that kind of equal I will stay the hell out of Florida! But wait a minute...we live in Seattle, right?
Then we have to remember
Kate Fleming, who was trapped in her Seattle basement while her wife Charlene Strong tried to free her without success as the basement filled with water during a Seattle storm in late 2006.
A fireman jumped into the black water below to retrieve a comatose Fleming. Frantic efforts produced a pulse. An ambulance raced Fleming to the hospital, with Strong close behind. At the door of the hospital emergency room, a social worker informed her that only family members were allowed inside. When Strong protested that she was Fleming's partner, the social worker said that under Washington state law, same-sex partners did not qualify as family. Only an urgent call to Fleming's sister in Virginia cleared the way to get Strong through the doors. Ninety minutes later, Fleming died, with Strong at her side.
Charlene Strong became a powerful voice for the equal rights of same-sex couples and their families but I bet she wishes for just one more day with Kate. We have as a result the passage of Washington State's historic Domestic Partnership legislation but we need more...Bottom line…vote YES on Referendum 71.
I have rally information to post as October 10th and 11th is the Seattle LGBT Equality Weekend.
I wish us all well.
Ms T
Background information and quotes found on
http://thelpkids.com/national-media-awards/ and other live links embedded throughout blog article.
